Christmas at it's Very Best

I ran across an article in the paper with this link. It was so wonderfully done it brought tears to my eyes. This is the real Christmas. Not the toys or the running from party to party. I wanted to share this with everyone.  http://www.columbusandthevalley.com/voiceofthevalley/?p=591  Merry Christmas. I hope it is Blessed!

Happy Thanksgiving

I am so very thankful for my children. I am so blessed to have been gifted them. They are smart (and sometimes smart mouthed), funny, and have big hearts. They humble me with their capacity to love others without boundaries or judgments. I am also thankful to my husband for walking this shaky road called parenthood. I am grateful to have true friends that I can call on no matter what. That don't judge me when I am at my worst and  can laugh at me when I deserve it. I am thankful this year that my father-in-law faced major surgery and is walking out the other side with slightly less parts but certainly more strength. His heart is big and the love he has for my babies is huge.  We were lucky that the strange turn of events that lead him to this point happened the way they did. God certainly, as He always does, knows what He is doing.    
 This past year has had more good than bad, more happy than sad, and so many beautiful blessings I can't count them all. I know every year won't be this way just as I know many people, including several friends of mine, have had much too much of the bad and the sad this year. I send up many a prayer for them, that they may find peace and a little more of that happy as we go through the holidays. For such a beautiful time of year it can bring out so much of the loneliness that those left behind feel. I hope the memories are soft and bring a smile ( and for the really sweet memories, a tear).  May those who struggle, whose burdens are great and heavy find their load lightened. Thank you to those that take the time to read this and share a part of our lives. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Dear Friday, 

     I am so gad to see you, even though I have to work some on Saturday and Sunday.  I have had my fill of your friends Monday, Tuesday, well you get the picture. Bring on the early morning football so I can watch my divas cheer on the Mighty Rams and the Destructor eat some dirt (because everyone knows little boys cannot grow up big and strong without some dirt).  I will cherish every minute of you as soon as I get off work.

 

These two girls are having so much fun cheering despite the fact that it is SO hot out.

Of course, how can you not love a Friday that starts with this...

Sibling love?

I would love to say these two are always like this but that would be a big stretch of the real truth. They do love each other but he is often running from her saying "No, no" or even better making this lovely screeching sound that rivals the nails on the chalk board. Just today as she wrestled him on the couch, I heard a loud thump followed by crying. His head met the wall but she denied any part in this event. Hmmm. One day he will be bigger and she will be the one saying "No". He has a similar relationship with his other sister, though she often plays the momma role by helping me get him ready in the morning. It truly breaks her heart when he wants nothing to do with her or even reaches for me first. I could only wish that the relationship they share with each other was as peaceful as the one they share with him. For those of you with multiple children you understand the tight muscle in your shoulders, the tic in your eye, and the clenched jaw as you ask, no beg, them to please shut their mouths and for the love of God, STOP fighting. My two girls could break records with the number of daily fights they have. They are literally over everything they can think of from whose turn it is to sit in back of the van to whose shirt it is. The shirt part depends on if it is going to be worn or if it has to be hung up. I think the year difference is often a balancing act of pros and cons. They often do the same activities, share the same friends, face the same consequence,s and reap the same rewards. The only time they seem to bond well is when one is in trouble and I am 'making her upset'. Then I am the mean mommy and the sister comes to the rescue and provides comfort. I would never use this tactic to my advantage. That would be wrong ;). I do hope one day they will look back at their squabbles and laugh. I don't expect them to grow up and never disagree but I hope they will grow up and appreciate each other. In the meantime, maybe they could treat each other the way they (usually) treat their brother.

Pumkin Patch

We ventured to the Pumpkin Patch last weekend to enjoy the incredible heat I mean attractions. LOL Seriously we had great cooler weather all week then BAM! welcome back 90s. The kids had a good time and decided after we paid for the hay ride, train ride, and inflatables ($5 just to jump in a bounce house and go down a slide- really) that the free air hockey table (that was not plugged up) was much more fun. Needless to say they jumped, like it or not. The Destuctor enjoy playing with a football he found and watching the adults run down the hill to catch it before it got to the barb wire fence halfway down. Sneaky little kid. He was offended that he was not allowed to play on the golf cart kept for the staff. After all, everything should be fair game. I love seeing the fall set-up with the pumpkins and the colors. Now if the fall weather would make up it's mind before Halloween so I know how to dress the little trick-or-treaters!

Travel the World

I have been terrible about writing and I won't waste time on excuses. We have been busy with cheering and fall fun. One of the more significant things we have seen take place is my little brother heading off to Thailand for the next few months. I am a little jealous of his travel though I would not trade things here for anything. He has decided to learn to teach scuba diving and is starting an instructors course. There is no telling where he will go after that. We did enjoy a brief stint with him before he took off and the kids loved having the chance to get to know him better. He even took them for cupcakes for their birthdays. We will certainly miss him at home but live vicariously through him with pictures and skype. Isn't technology wonderful? How did people get by without being able to talk to each other without paying $50 a minute?!

Friday Night Lights

No, I do not mean the TV show. The sun has set and the air is ALIVE. The excitement can be felt even if you close your eyes and ears. The drums beat and the people scream. You can almost feel transported back in time, back to a time when the most important thing was who was seeing who and where everyone was going on Saturday night. The time when youth was everlasting and old was 30. Where you are INVINCIBLE. It is High School Football. I love going to these games. Don't get me wrong, I love going to Auburn games too but there is something about the lights and pulse of a hometown high school game. The energy of the crowd and parents, the carelessness of the students, the little boys throwing footballs in the grass, and the little girls (like mine) idolizing the cheerleaders. We have a cousin playing out his senior year and we are so proud of him. I have to admit it brings several tears to my eyes watching him play. It is bittersweet knowing he will move on to college next year, taking that next step. For now though, his youth is everlasting.

Not Crazy Yet

I have not lost my mind yet despite the heat and miniature tornadoes spending their days at home wreaking havoc on every room they enter. They give my OCD side a run for it's money. I have learned that not having clean socks is not the end of the world and who needs to walk across the floor without dodging a few obstacles. Good exercise. With the heat comes the need for cool down. We set up our Super slip and slide this week and all the kids loved it (me too!). It came with a mini surf board that the girls just had to try. A few wipe outs later they decided to skip that part and just soak. Of course little man had to join in. He has to try everything his big sisters do. With the horribly high temps we don't get outside much. Thank goodness the kids enjoy the Wii and we have all tried Pilate's a few times. We tend to laugh at each other more than we actually exercise but it is better than nothing. Little man finds it hilarious to sit on my head when I am on the floor. I guess that is his exercise.
What better way to beat the heat than spending a day on the lake. The water was warm but wonderful. We played on the slide and floated around. We also went tubing. My youngest diva loves tubing despite the fact she does not weigh enough to hold down the tube! I gave it a shot myself and managed not to be thrown off. The wind was a great by product. We are so grateful to have a great host that enjoys the kids and welcomes us into his home. One day we hope to have lake house to just go and unwind. Though I think we enjoy the water for different reasons (someone in the house would rather fish than float). Some sun and water and we were all worn out when we got home. Think there is some early morning fishing on the slate for tomorrow. That might fall on the HOT side of summer. Hope we can beat the heat.
Most of us have been lucky to be healthy this summer and enjoy the break from the school bugs. Little man has not been so lucky and is sporting his we lost count ear infection of the year. Unlucky for him the 'go-to' antibiotics don't work and we have to go straight for the heavy duty stuff that upsets his tummy and leads to the lovely yeast infection (yes, boys can get them too, no you don't want to know where). So we are keeping the ears dry and FINALLY have a referral to the ENT in a couple weeks. Tubes? Not sure, but this poor kids has an ear infection every six weeks. Miracle he can hear at all. This picture says it all...
All in all the Hawkins house have enjoyed summer even though we are not sure where it went. School starts back in one week. Here comes 5am wake ups (for mom), packing lunches, making sure homework is complete, and sign up for sports (to expel all that built up energy). I have not come to terms with having a fourth grader and a third grader. The girls are excited and nervous to meet their new teachers and excited to see their friends. This year will fly by as has every year since my first born loosed her "Here I am World" cry. I marvel at the things they say and the depth of feelings (do you know how many feelings girls have in a day?) they show me. I am so lucky to have these tweens, as the oldest diva calls herself, in my life, I am not sure who will make me go gray first- them or my destructor. That little rascal is ALL boy. I am waiting on the first broken bone or set of stitches. He pulled the three tiered fountain on him the other day as I was rolling up the above 26 foot slip and slide. After I dunked him in the hot tub to wash away the dirt he acquired he began to laugh and went right back to that thing. Then he climbed on the lawn chair to dance. *sigh*. I might lose my mind after all.

Happy 4th of July

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. It is certainly one of the more important ones we celebrate. Thank you to the men and women who continue to make it possible. Thank you to my dad who spent a good portion of his life serving this country. I want to say I love you and I am very proud to call you my father.



We spent the day at home following a cookout Saturday night. My sweet little 'niece' stayed with us. So Sunday morning was full of arts and crafts. My parents came to visit the kids and spent the afternoon watching them play in the water. The girls enjoyed the hot tub (turned down) and the little man played in his pool. He loves the hose and drags it around the patio watering everything. He made sure to soak his sister when she stole his pool. One of these days he is going to pay back his sisters for all they do to him!
Sunday night we joined friends for dinner. It is always nice to get together with good friends. After dinner we enjoyed the Auburn fireworks. They were really good this year and the kids all loved the finale. Even Dylan kept pointing to the sky! All in all it was a great day. I am very blessed.

Summer

Well it has certainly been awhile! I said that when I started this blog I would keep it up even if it was just a line or two. However life got the better of me and time slipped by. We have been enjoying our summer and the girls have enjoyed filling their time with sleep away camp, VBS, and a week in Beaufort, South Carolina.

It was an amazing experience to send my sweet girls to Wonderful, Wonderful Camp McDowell. I went there myself beginning in 4th grade and going up until 11th grade. I made some great friends while there and amazing memories. As I watched them on the last day singing camp songs in the Chapel I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes. The girls stayed in Ed's cabin. This cabin was dedicated to Ed Pradat, a GREAT guy that went to camp about the same time as me. He had a sense of humor and this kindness to him that touched everyone around him. He was killed while in college. He is still missed. I am glad to see a part of him will always be at McDowell.

The beach was so nice. I am blessed to have a close family and parents that love my children enough to be in the same house for a whole week and not go crazy. We spent a day in Savannah and took a carriage ride through the city. Fascinating place. The girls tried their hand at crabbing and had a ball catching those little things. Even more fun was watching their dad get pinched! Most went back to the water but we did manage one good crab boil. They found plenty of shells and saw a few horseshoe crabs. We also spent a day going to the military base and seeing my old house. Then over to Paris Island where my dad spent a few very difficult weeks becoming a Marine.

We are home now and back in the swing. Unfortunately life is not always easy and kind. We are going through a hard patch now and still have a bit of a climb ahead. I have faith that things are going to be OK but I know in the meantime it will be hard waiting for the answers we seek. I will talk more about this after we have some answers but ask that you keep us in your prayers. Hope everyone is enjoying the summer and getting the most out of life. I will try to stay on top of this blogging thing. God Bless.

Softball

I will lament later about the joys of softball and the role it plays in our little corner but for now...

Those Parents

I was reminded I should write a little on those parents. The ones that go to the ball field to watch their kids play and decide there has been an injustice. The coach obviously has made a mistake and insulted their child. Now the child is happily going along with things, content to carry on as if nothing has happened. The parent is in the background, quietly fuming. This will be fixed and justice served. This is the point in the story where I get to put my opinion. See, this parent is a little embarrassed about how mad they were (since hind sight is 20/20) and may not be objective in the telling. This 'awful' parent fumes silently the whole time until everyone, parents and kids, have loaded up and gone home. Even his own child, still happily oblivious to said injustice, is safely tucked in the car. He then goes to the coach to question this mistake. Now, I do not know the outcome as I myself had loaded my own smelly children and headed off to the showers. I wrote this because I wanted to say something to this type of parent: Thank you. Those parents are the ones that set a good example to their kids. They could have gone out on the field at any time and demanded to know what exactly the coach was thinking. They could have made a big scene. But they waited, maybe not patiently, but they waited. They looked out for their kids in a way that every parent should. Again, to those parents: Thank you. We should all follow your example. :)

The Last of Another First

So April 7th was THE day. My destructor turned one. I thought about not claiming the new age until 1:30pm which is when he made his grand entrance into this world. I am not one of those moms who can claim that I spent 2 days in labor (and I know they are out there- my hat is off to you!) because mine was short and sweet. I went in as scheduled for induction because not one of my kids voluntarily left their comfy nest and after four short (certainly not sweet) hours, there he was, all mad and screaming about how unfair this life was going to be. I held off on telling him he was right. The experience was so bittersweet. I knew when I walked through those doors at the hospital that I would never have that 'moment' again. For all the pain and work, bringing life into this world is a humbling experience. That first beautiful cry that brings tears to your eyes and that sweet little face with the goopy eyes that look at you with wonder. I am so lucky that I have had this experience three times and have three great kids to show for it because I know that not everyone gets that.

His big day did make me stop and think though, about how I view parenthood. Parenthood does not hinge on the experience of labor. At least not the kind of labor I went through in that hospital bed. It has so many forms that it is hard to cover them all. For example-I am adopted. Not a big deal to me. It just is. I have always known and have always accepted. I guess you could say I am comfortable with it. It is a HUGE deal to my parents. Now this is the word of note. Parents. I am speaking of the ones that raised me. That provided for me, loved me, taught me my values. They see me as a gift. That is the second word of note. Gift. See, to be a gift, I had to be given. I was given to them by my parents. The ones that conceived me, made the heart- breaking choice to give me up, the ones that loved me enough to carry me to term, to struggle through the pain of childbirth. I don't see the parents that conceived me as less because they gave me away but different because their sacrifice was different. I am the part of them that will always be missing, given to a couple who had their own empty space needing to be filled. They will always be my parents, too, even if they never speak my name or me theirs. They earned the right to call themselves parents just like the ones that brought me up did. I am perhaps more blessed than my own sweet babies as I have two sets of parents that shared a piece of their hearts for me. Of course there are many other forms of parenthood. There are step parents, grandparents, foster parents. People who put children before themselves, who open their hearts to love them, nurture them. Whether the choice is to raise them or offer them up to someone who may be in a better place to that, parenthood is about making the choice that benefits not the adult but the child.

Parenthood is a precious gift. As with anything in life, what a person does with that gift is up to them. I choose to appreciate it, to nurture it. I want to be a good parent, to make choices that will one day lead to my kids being good parents, in whatever form that may be. I will make mistakes but I am OK with that. After all I am human. I will continue to try and as long as they know they are loved as much as I know I am loved I will have succeeded.

To my little man and your first birthday: I love you very much. Thank you for being my gift. To your sisters: I love you both very much, too. You know you are my gifts. To every parent in every form: Thank you for your sacrifices.

A few pictures

An apology

I was reminded today that my previous post left something out. While it is often us mommies running our own crazy race, there are quite a few dads out there huffing and puffing alongside us. Some are working long and crazy hours and some are doing laundry and cooking supper. They are a few more who are doing all of the above. I am remiss not to give them their due and humbly apologize! Spouses, partners, families, and friends, all play an important role in this day to day run. The support we give each other is crucial and most certainly makes life that much more beautiful. So, to those guys who pull their weight and more, Thank You!!!

My marathon

I was thinking tonight as I ran around the house doing all my mommy chores that I often feel like I am running a race that will never end. As any mommy knows there are things we do every day that continue to repeat themselves- laundry that somehow breeds and multiplies in the dryer, dishes that will not, no matter how much I close my eyes and wish, wash themselves, dirt that the kids (including the big one) track in over the floor I just washed. Meals have to be fixed and served only to hear "I'm hungry" (feel free to insert whiny tone here). As moms, we go until we fall into bed and start before our feet hit the floor. So this is where I decided my life was comparable to a marathon. Unlike your average Saturday morning race this path will not be marked with pretty ribbons to lead the way. It will often be rocky and uncertain. Sometimes the road ahead will stretch out clear, where you can see everything that is coming and all that is behind. More often than not, though, the path will be a bit foggy. There will certainly be plenty of other runners, pushing on along side me, even when the fatigue pulls at the body and mind. However I was a bit wrong in my thinking. The race will end. This is God's race after all and the reward at the end will be greater than any of us can imagine. In the meantime I will try harder to make the most of my run, enjoying every struggle, every view, and treasure every person running alongside me. We can push each other and even pull a little when we have to. When I reach the end and win my Big Reward I want to look back over my shoulder and see all the ribbons I left marking my path. Today, well today the view is sweet.

This is the Beginning

This is hopefully the beginning of the story of us. I am starting this blog so that friends and family can join the Hawkins Home in our journey through life. With three kids, two dogs, and one very sneaky cat, it is rarely dull and never still. We will, like everyone does, have our highs and lows. While I pray that the highs significantly outnumber the lows and the lows never dip too far, I hope you will enjoy the sneak peak into our little world.